Unnamed victims continue the shame of violence

One news story from a few years ago has always stayed with me. It was about a man who was tortured and held captive by his wife and her lover.
Beyond the obvious horror of the story, what also bothered me was the hiding of the victim’s name (and because of that, his wife’s name also.) This man should be shouting his name from the roof tops. He is a survivor and should be wearing that badge with honour.
This system of withholding names of victims of violent crime just serves to uphold this idea that they are the ones who should be ashamed, rather than the perpetrator of the crime.
The argument seems to be that by not releasing names, we are protecting those who were violated. That they are not being violated twice, but isn’t what’s truly being communicated is that you should hide? That nobody should know that YOU were the one who had THESE THINGS done to you. Hide your face, hide your name, never speak of it again.
Shouldn’t the rapist/murderer/violent offender be the one who is ashamed of their actions?
I feel we should be encouraging victims to embrace being survivors instead. To come forward and put their name to these events, and say proudly that they are unashamed of what another, evil, person has done. I understand that this needs to be each individuals’ choice. The person who has lived through a violent crime needs to choose if they want to be the face of that crime; however, even in offering that choice we are saying “do you really want people to KNOW you were RAPED?”
There is no stigma attached to these crimes if society starts being open about them. We need to talk about rape, molestation, & violence, not in hushed tones, but brazenly and loudly, and without anonymity.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s